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AUDITION:  A financial corporate.

LOCATION: Audition and shoot day would be in London, which is a bonus.

TIME: Late morning.

MONEY:  Yes there is money involved, as you know I won’t give it away, and as with                                       most corporates, the money is not too bad.

So I was quite excited about todays audition because it was being cast by a casting director I have wanted to meet for a long time.

I did all my usual checks the night before, three times reading over the emails to make sure I hadn’t missed any important details.  As seems to be the norm with me, I woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, panicking that I had overslept, and then spent the next few hours semi snoozing and having horrid nightmares about turning up late.

Alarm goes off and I spring out of bed.  Whilst showering I begin to doubt the outfit I had picked to wear.  The breakdown said ‘Suited and booted’ and I had chosen to wear a smart business type dress, but was the breakdown being literal.  The next half hour consisted of numerous costume changes until I was happy that I directly fitted the brief.

We had been warned to arrive ten minutes early in order to read over the script.  In my eagerness to avoid making my nightmare a reality, I found myself a good forty minutes early…bugger.  You should NEVER be late but being too early can also be detrimental.  So I wondered around aimlessly for about ten minutes before heading in.

A nod to the man on reception, and it was over to the seating area, where the forms awaited. It doesn’t matter how many times I have written it down I still pull a blank when trying to remember crucial details like agents email address and specific body measurements.

I am promptly joined by three other actors.  One is obviously going up for the same part as me and we behave overly friendly towards one another in order to avoid a competitive atmosphere.  After a half hour wait, the smiling face of the casting director appears to take us to another waiting area, where she hands us a five page script.

Like starved dogs that have just been given a bone, we all throw our heads into the pages in front of us.  Each muttering away, pulling strange faces and apparently oblivious to the rest of the world.  Anyone seeing us at this point would be forgiven for thinking we were quite mad.

Then a young blonde appears, flustered and without a form.  She is obviously one of the actors.  I try to be helpful by informing her about what has happened and tell her that she needs to fill in a form.  She seems more interested in fixing her face and getting her hands on a script.  All scripts are in use and I was not about to hand my copy over, as that would give her an advantage.  I continue trying to learn my lines; a futile task as I’m constantly disrupted by the late comers huffs, puffs and “Why the f**k do they get us to come early if there’s not enough scripts?”  Hopefully she will continue behaving this way and take herself out of the race.

Finally, my name is called. I enter to find three smiling faces.  The casting director introduces me to everybody (which is nice; doesn’t always happen).  The premise of the scene is laid out for me by the lovely director and I am ready to rock.

First my ident – look straight in to camera and say your full name (whilst holding a piece of paper with your name on) and the name of your agent.  At this point a little voice pops into my head saying “act naturally” meaning I am now smiling like a demented clown and tripping over my words.

Next the acting – I hate not having the script at least the night before, I find it hard to settle with lines that I have only had for ten minutes.  None the less I am a professional and so I did what I could.  The whole read is a blur.  The director kicks me out after two reads with a polite “that was great thanks”.   I know the actor before me got three reads but I try not to let it bother me as I say my goodbyes and hurry out of the building and back to my day job.

In all honesty, I will be surprised if I get this one, but then again, you never can tell.